stolen.

it's as if the pieces of me are breaking away,
or maybe its as if they're being wrenched off of their glue.
the parts of who i am that were once molded to me as if of clay,
now seem to belong to you.

no one sees, it seems,
the crime that's been taking place.
my hopes, my wishes, my thoughts and dreams,
are being whisked away from their case.

you have them locked behind new doors,
as i saw you steal them from where they slept.
you revealed them to the world as yours,
and all i did was stand and accept.

so i guess i'm at just as much fault as you,
for when you stole i did nothing.
i kept quite though all the while i knew,
and yet i still acted as if you would do something.

but what crinimal returns their prizes,
the ones they worked so hard to get.
so although this comes as no surprise,
i can't give up hope yet.

but look at me, here, empty and broken,
no longer who i used to be.
all because i once uttered words i shouldn't have spoken,
and, upon taking them, you also took me.

i'll never be who i once was,
just because you decided to steal.
so i hope you have a great life because
thanks to you, i never will.

jordan's top 10 reasons to be happy.

10) I've finally done something illegal. (Even more illegal than the beanfield! =P)
9) I've got a part in the fall play again, and I expect to see you there opening night!
8) My XXX song might actually get recorded.
7) We're getting closer to finally becoming friends.
6) I'm passing my Kirkwood government class. Whoo!
5) I plan on writing a kickass After-Dinner Speech for speech contest this year, and I'm superpumped!
4) Ramen noodles.
3) Amusing things are happening to me almost constantly.
2) I just had a really awesome weekend.
and
1) you came back.
<33333333333333333

jordan thought #34:

"we're not perfect, but we should try."

and that's okay."

your faith, my faith.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
-Amendment 1: Freedom of Religion, Press, Expression
U.S. Constitution.

Today I went to church with a good friend. We were attending a youth-group-type meeting where the leaders asked us questions such as:

"When did you first put your faith in God?"
"How did it feel when you did?"
"Why do you believe what you believe about Him?"

and then questions like:

"How do you know that the Bible wasn't all a big lie?"
"How do you know Jesus was God's Son and not just a moral teacher?"
"How do you know that everything about Him really happened?"

and then questions that made me pause:

"How is the Bible better than the Book of Mormon?"

I thought of all the Mormons I knew as I looked around the circle, waiting for someone to answer the question.

Shari. Aunt Happy. Aunt Kathy. Emmie. Dani. Micah. Jeremy. Mikey. Taylor. Winky. Raquel. Anders. My dad, once upon a time.

Visions of the Mormon church services, of lessons and large group meetings, of visits to the temple with my cousins, and stories upon stories of Relief Society flew through my head. The air was quiet, and it's almost as if I forgot to breathe.

The leader's wife said, "Well, the Bible was written all those years ago, and the Book of Mormon was written, what, maybe 100 years ago? And it was written by one man, what was his name..."

One girl answered. "Joseph Smith," she said. "He wrote the Book of Mormon."

There was a slight pause. And then the girl spoke again.

"Mormons," she said in a scoffing tone, "are ridiculous. I went to the church of Mormon once. All they cared about was their material things; their pillars and their glass ceilings and tiled floors. They take all their money in offerings and use it to make bigger churches to seat all their worshippers instead of giving it to starving people literally standing on their doorsteps. And their walls are lined with pictures "telling the story" of the Book of Mormon, but they don't make any sense! I didn't recognize a single one of the characters, and it was just all irrelevant. Mormons just piss me off."

My hurt plummented, and I felt kind of sick.

Shari. Aunt Happy. Aunt Kathy. Emmie. Dani. Micah. Jeremy. Mikey. Taylor. Winky. Raquel. Anders. My dad. Shari. Aunt Happy. Aunt Kathy. Emmie. Dani. Micah. Jeremy. Mikey. Taylor. Winky. Raquel. Anders. My dad. Shari. Aunt Happy. Aunt Kathy. Emmie. Dani. Micah. Jeremy. Mikey. Taylor. Winky. Raquel. Anders. My dad.

ShariAuntHappyAuntKathyEmmieDaniMicahJeremyMikeyTaylorWinkyRaquelAndersMydad.

Their names blurred together in my head as my friend spoke up and said, "They just believe something different. I mean, they still believe in God, they just believe in Him in a different way..."

ShariAuntHappyAuntKathyEmmieDaniMicahJeremyMikeyTaylorWinkyRaquelAndersMydad.

I didn't really pay that much attention to the discussions after that.

"...Mormons are ridiculous...
...cared about was their material things...
...instead of giving it to starving people..."
...just piss me off."

I knew these things weren't true - that they were opinions, not facts. That this girl had either misinterpretated that Mormons as a whole or had met some Mormons that she thought represented the whole group. Whatever she had gotten her ideas from didn't matter to me, because they still hurt.

Later, when I got home, I told Shari about what the girl had said. To my surprise, instead of being hurt about it, she laughed.

"Aren't you hurt she said those things? I mean, I know that they're not true, but doesn't it hurt to think that people think that way about you and your religion?" I asked her.
She laughed again. "In order for me to take anything seriously, I need people to have the right facts first. Mormons use the Book of Mormon AND the Bible, not instead of it. We consider the Book of Mormon as a Second Testament. And as for everything else she said, well, people are always going to think what they want. And if she doesn't have all the facts before she makes an assumption, that's her problem not mine."

I thought about what she said, and it really stuck with me.
Why do people make assumptions with getting to know the facts first?
It gave me an idea.

I promise I'll read your Bible. I'm not saying I'll believe it, and I'm not saying I won't. I'm just saying that I'll get all the facts before I decide if Christianity is or isn't right for me.

And I will. I will read your Bible. If you promise me one thing - if you read the Book of Mormon that belongs to my family and some of my closest friends before you make any assumption about them. I'm not saying you have to like it or believe it - I just think that you should get the facts someone else believes in before you trash it.

And while you're at it, you might as well check out a copy of the U.S. Constitution, Amendment 1.
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

Both you and I have the right of freedom of religion - we can believe whatever we want. In no way is one belief better than another. Interestingly enough, this same amendment also grants us the right of free speech. So I guess you could go around saying "Mormons are ridiculous" and "Jewish people are stupid", but then you would defy the rule that applies to every religion I've ever known -

be a good person.

You don't have to read the Book of Mormon. You don't have to read the Bible. You can believe whatever you believe. But there's nothing wrong with getting the facts before you trash another religion - or better yet, not trashing the religion, but accepting it as an alternative, once you have the facts after all.

So. Here we are. This is my faith:
I promise I'll read the Bible, the Book of Mormon, other religious book for different religions. I promise to keep an open mind. I promise to learn all facts before judging a religion or faith. I promise to be a good person. I can't promise that I will believe, but I promise that I will try.

So. Your turn. Your faith.
Do you promise?

did you remember what today is?

you'll always be my best friend.

i miss you.
i love you.

Dear Jordan,

You really need to stand up for yourself more.

Love,
Jordan.