I'm not Superman.

I can't rescue you all the time.

I make mistakes, and I mess up.

I'm only human.

So please, stop treating me like I'm more than that.

will you fly with me?

and let go of who we used to be?
just soar amongst the skies,
above all the anger, the hurt, the lies,
because then we will be free.
we will be free.

demons.

We all have our demons;
those things that haunt us in our sleep.
And in order to be free of them,
we must become strong from weak.

I guess we all have parts of our lives that we don't like to talk about.
Some people call them secrets, or dark pasts, or skeletons in the closests,
but I call them something else: demons.
The demons in my life haven't surfaced for over a year now,
and for a while, I was starting to think that they had erased themselves from my life forever.
But in the past two weeks, my demons have come back - bigger and badder than before.
It's not really them, that much I know; but the illusion of them seems just as real.

I've been dreaming about them all the time now -
heart-pounding dreams that make me toss and turn and wake with a start.
The dreams are so vivid and so real;
So real, that I can't tell when my nightmares end and when reality begins again.

I've been seeing them everywhere, too;
standing and staring at me from the back of the auditorium at play practice;
watching me as i stand talking with a group of people after school;
eyeing me as they pass by on the streets of Iowa City.
It's not really them, I know; but they look so realistic I almost stop breathing.

But why? Why now? Why again? Why me?
I guess I have a good idea.
For the first time in a long time, I'm finally happy with where I am.
Last time I was happy like this, my entire life was pulled out from underneath my feet by them.
Now, I'm scared that the same thing is happening again.

I know it's just a bad dream;
a false sighting;
perhaps just a phase.
But still - I don't what I'll do if they come back again for real.
I really don't know.

if i were to die today.

Dear Master Death,
Here I am, finally yours,
a captive trapped behind your doors.
You may think that I have lost and you have won,
But that, Master Death, is where you are wrong.
For I may have been lost early, but I have missed nothing,
I may not have accomplished, but I have been something.
I have laughed and learned and cried and loved,
and I've sung and danced and wrote and hugged.
But above all this, I have been alive -
a sensation and emotion that no one survives.
And you see, Master Death, this is where I win,
Because death is about living, not about when.
Love,
Jordan