rainbows.
:]
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
music.
there are many things in my life that i don't understand. the current list for this week goes something along the lines of:
1) men
2) women
3) people in general
4) humans
5) hoes
but i find myself having to chalk up yet another thing i don't understand - music.
music - artistic form of auditory communication incorporating instrumental or vocal tones.
it's not that i don't understand what music is - i do. music is an artistic form of auditory communication incorporating instrumental or vocal tones. music is what you feel in your bones as you dance along to its pulsating beat. music is the ripples in your skin that you feel when you get goosebumps from a suspended pleasing note. music is the thumping of your heart as you thrive in the audience of a sold-out concert.
and it's not that i don't understand what music i like - i do. kate nash, playradioplay!, motion city soundtrack, the weepies, the postal service, between the trees, stars, relient k, "weird al", regina spektor, imogen heap, followed by ghosts, hellogoodbye, and death cab for cutie are all what i usually occupy myself with listening to. i sing along when i can, i dance along if appropiate, and i just like it. the end.
no, what i don't understand about music is how today, everyone seems to be all up-tight about different genres and preferences. country, classical, instrumental, rock, pop, traditional, rap, and oh so many more. but it seems like you can't like some of one genre and some of another - i can't like both rock and country! but what if i do? this is apparantly a problem, i am informed.
by whom am i informed of my serious musical blunders? music snobs. people who think they have a refined taste in music. people who think what they listen is not only better than listening to you, but it's better than what you're listening to too. people who think it's not possible to like something from one genre and something from another.
let me tell you: music snobs fucking annoy me.
why can't people just like what they like and not like what they don't?
why can't people not listen to what they don't like and listen to what they do?
and have that be the end?
it sounds simple.
it is simple.
so why isn't it like that?
why does it matter that that guy who listens to lil wayne constantly on his ipod loves the giants too?
why does it matter that that girl who constantly has a kelly clarkson song stuck in her head also listens to iron & wine?
and tell me why it matters that that oh-so-faithful followed by ghosts fan that comes to every single show also has a slight obsession with hinder?
tell me,
why does it matter?
people are allowed to like whatever they want.
why can't i like animal collective but not especially care for lcd soundsystem?
why can't i like the giants but really can't stand dead to fall?
why can't i like kate nash but not really listen to lily allen?
why does listening to a fall out boy song here and there make me an emo?
why does only knowing one jack's mannequin song make me not as a "great appreciator of the music" than you?
why does only liking one album from relient k make me less 'cool' than if i liked all of them?
why can't i like the killers without being "a stupid little sophmore girl who doesn't know what good music is?"
why can't i just like what i like and not like what i don't?
it seems i can't even say that i like a song from any band without being labeled,
"ohmygod, you like that? you're so indie/emo/punk/hardcore/scene/country bumpkin/classical freak/[insert any other musical genre here]."
geesh. people don't seem to get it.
people are different.
musics are different.
why can't we be different without it being a problem?
why can't i like what i like and not like what i don't?
why can't we just all enjoy the music?
1) men
2) women
3) people in general
4) humans
5) hoes
but i find myself having to chalk up yet another thing i don't understand - music.
music - artistic form of auditory communication incorporating instrumental or vocal tones.
it's not that i don't understand what music is - i do. music is an artistic form of auditory communication incorporating instrumental or vocal tones. music is what you feel in your bones as you dance along to its pulsating beat. music is the ripples in your skin that you feel when you get goosebumps from a suspended pleasing note. music is the thumping of your heart as you thrive in the audience of a sold-out concert.
and it's not that i don't understand what music i like - i do. kate nash, playradioplay!, motion city soundtrack, the weepies, the postal service, between the trees, stars, relient k, "weird al", regina spektor, imogen heap, followed by ghosts, hellogoodbye, and death cab for cutie are all what i usually occupy myself with listening to. i sing along when i can, i dance along if appropiate, and i just like it. the end.
no, what i don't understand about music is how today, everyone seems to be all up-tight about different genres and preferences. country, classical, instrumental, rock, pop, traditional, rap, and oh so many more. but it seems like you can't like some of one genre and some of another - i can't like both rock and country! but what if i do? this is apparantly a problem, i am informed.
by whom am i informed of my serious musical blunders? music snobs. people who think they have a refined taste in music. people who think what they listen is not only better than listening to you, but it's better than what you're listening to too. people who think it's not possible to like something from one genre and something from another.
let me tell you: music snobs fucking annoy me.
why can't people just like what they like and not like what they don't?
why can't people not listen to what they don't like and listen to what they do?
and have that be the end?
it sounds simple.
it is simple.
so why isn't it like that?
why does it matter that that guy who listens to lil wayne constantly on his ipod loves the giants too?
why does it matter that that girl who constantly has a kelly clarkson song stuck in her head also listens to iron & wine?
and tell me why it matters that that oh-so-faithful followed by ghosts fan that comes to every single show also has a slight obsession with hinder?
tell me,
why does it matter?
people are allowed to like whatever they want.
why can't i like animal collective but not especially care for lcd soundsystem?
why can't i like the giants but really can't stand dead to fall?
why can't i like kate nash but not really listen to lily allen?
why does listening to a fall out boy song here and there make me an emo?
why does only knowing one jack's mannequin song make me not as a "great appreciator of the music" than you?
why does only liking one album from relient k make me less 'cool' than if i liked all of them?
why can't i like the killers without being "a stupid little sophmore girl who doesn't know what good music is?"
why can't i just like what i like and not like what i don't?
it seems i can't even say that i like a song from any band without being labeled,
"ohmygod, you like that? you're so indie/emo/punk/hardcore/scene/country bumpkin/classical freak/[insert any other musical genre here]."
geesh. people don't seem to get it.
people are different.
musics are different.
why can't we be different without it being a problem?
why can't i like what i like and not like what i don't?
why can't we just all enjoy the music?
Saturday, June 21, 2008
a rhyme.
eyes light up
hearts sing
smiles spread
and happiness rings.
but then heartbeats pound
smiles fade
tears fall
as we pretend it's all okay.
then our souls ignite
smiles crack
hearts bloom
and the feeling's back.
but it's short-lived
and doesn't last too long
and we're left here to wonder
what went wrong.
hearts sing
smiles spread
and happiness rings.
but then heartbeats pound
smiles fade
tears fall
as we pretend it's all okay.
then our souls ignite
smiles crack
hearts bloom
and the feeling's back.
but it's short-lived
and doesn't last too long
and we're left here to wonder
what went wrong.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
let me tell you a story.
once upon a time, there lived a little boy and his mother. everyday, the little boy would ask his mother,
"mommy, will you always love me?"
as you see, the little boy was insecure and very needy. he needed love, and he needed to be reassured that he had it constantly. and every time the boy asked, his mother would always reply,
"yes, dear. i love you, and i always will."
then one day, the little boy and his mother were out for a drive. the little boy asked his mother, yet again,
"mommy, will you always love me?"
his mother, eyes on the road ahead, once again replied,
"yes, dear. i love you, and i always will."
the boy seemed to consider her response carefully this time; he thought about it for a moment or two and then asked another question:
"mommy, would you still love me if i murdered someone?"
his mother, somewhat startled, glanced over at her son. his eyes shone up to hers, geninuly curious and full of neediness. she sighed and dragged her eyes back to the road. silence filled the car and a few beats later the mother spoke.
"honey, i would hate what you did. i would cry and cry and cry. i would testify in any and every U.S. court to make sure you got the punishment you deserved. but i would never, ever, stop loving you."
the little boy turned away from her, and he too turned his eyes onto the road ahead. his mind whirled with questions, and he spoke the most important one aloud:
"why?"
his mother turned back to him once again, her shining eyes filled with compassion.
"because," she said simply,
"i just would. i love you, and i always will."
-------------------
the mother in the story above told her son that she loved him and that she always would. her son didn't understand this, so he asked her if she would still love him even when he did something bad. when she said she would, he still didn't understand; how can you still love someone even if they do something bad? what the little boy in the story didn't understand was that his mother loved him unconditionally - she showed him unconditional love.
unconditional love is when you love someone without any conditions - when you love them no matter what. when you love them despite their flaws. when you love them even if they've messed up.
to me, unconditional love is what we should mean when we say the word love - loving someone no matter what their flaws, issues, or whatever they may have done in their lives. unconditional love is loving someone, always.
you may not think that unconditional love is real - i mean, how can you love someone despite the fact that they've done something terrible? but like my stepmom shari told her son aaron many, many years ago,
"because, i just would. i love you, and i always will."
sometimes, 'because' is the best explanation you can give.
"mommy, will you always love me?"
as you see, the little boy was insecure and very needy. he needed love, and he needed to be reassured that he had it constantly. and every time the boy asked, his mother would always reply,
"yes, dear. i love you, and i always will."
then one day, the little boy and his mother were out for a drive. the little boy asked his mother, yet again,
"mommy, will you always love me?"
his mother, eyes on the road ahead, once again replied,
"yes, dear. i love you, and i always will."
the boy seemed to consider her response carefully this time; he thought about it for a moment or two and then asked another question:
"mommy, would you still love me if i murdered someone?"
his mother, somewhat startled, glanced over at her son. his eyes shone up to hers, geninuly curious and full of neediness. she sighed and dragged her eyes back to the road. silence filled the car and a few beats later the mother spoke.
"honey, i would hate what you did. i would cry and cry and cry. i would testify in any and every U.S. court to make sure you got the punishment you deserved. but i would never, ever, stop loving you."
the little boy turned away from her, and he too turned his eyes onto the road ahead. his mind whirled with questions, and he spoke the most important one aloud:
"why?"
his mother turned back to him once again, her shining eyes filled with compassion.
"because," she said simply,
"i just would. i love you, and i always will."
-------------------
the mother in the story above told her son that she loved him and that she always would. her son didn't understand this, so he asked her if she would still love him even when he did something bad. when she said she would, he still didn't understand; how can you still love someone even if they do something bad? what the little boy in the story didn't understand was that his mother loved him unconditionally - she showed him unconditional love.
unconditional love is when you love someone without any conditions - when you love them no matter what. when you love them despite their flaws. when you love them even if they've messed up.
to me, unconditional love is what we should mean when we say the word love - loving someone no matter what their flaws, issues, or whatever they may have done in their lives. unconditional love is loving someone, always.
you may not think that unconditional love is real - i mean, how can you love someone despite the fact that they've done something terrible? but like my stepmom shari told her son aaron many, many years ago,
"because, i just would. i love you, and i always will."
sometimes, 'because' is the best explanation you can give.
butterflies
unsticking their wings and taking flight
as we wake
from the morning light
and city noise.
butterflies
swooping and soaring through the air
as we run
beneath a clear blue sky
to catch the train filled with people, again.
butterflies
dancing on cloud lines
as we sprawl out at
our wooden desks, in an office building,
while outside roams a magnificent evening.
butterflies
folding their wings back up for sleep
as we return to the grey place called 'home'
in a city filled with noise
layed out under an ignored, but beautiful starry night.
butterflies
begin choking on the world's exhaust
as we repeat
this endless cycle
we call our lives.
butterflies
wilting and falling through the air
as we go on
blindly
as usual.
butterflies
gone.
where are the butterflies now?
unsticking their wings and taking flight
as we wake
from the morning light
and city noise.
butterflies
swooping and soaring through the air
as we run
beneath a clear blue sky
to catch the train filled with people, again.
butterflies
dancing on cloud lines
as we sprawl out at
our wooden desks, in an office building,
while outside roams a magnificent evening.
butterflies
folding their wings back up for sleep
as we return to the grey place called 'home'
in a city filled with noise
layed out under an ignored, but beautiful starry night.
butterflies
begin choking on the world's exhaust
as we repeat
this endless cycle
we call our lives.
butterflies
wilting and falling through the air
as we go on
blindly
as usual.
butterflies
gone.
where are the butterflies now?
Monday, June 16, 2008
erase.
erase - to remove from memory or existence.
crying, i plop in my computer chair.
fingers flying across the keyboard, i fill in the blogger draft pages.
anger.
angst.
sadness.
disappointment.
frustration.
confusion.
and then the words are there.
the words that could make or break.
the words that catalouge how much pain i feel.
they make everything seem so much more real.
i sit there, reading the words over
and over
and over again.
then as i read over it all one last time, i realize something.
that it's not really as bad as i make it out to be.
that the words make it seem so much harsher than it really is.
that i'm overreacting.
so i select the text and press the 'delete' button, erasing everything.
erasing all the
anger and the angst.
all the sadness and the disappointment.
all the frustration and the confusion.
and then you know what?
i feel just a little bit better.
then before me, once again, sits a blank slate.
an empty screen.
a chance to forget everything i just wrote and to start over.
i pause, my fingers hovering over the keyboard.
i could start again;
i could make it less harsh and more realistic;
i have a do-over card.
a moment passes.
then another.
and i push back my computer chair,
stand up,
and walk away from the computer.
erase.
delete.
backspace.
undo.
blank slate.
erase your slate and walk away. you'll feel better. i promise.
crying, i plop in my computer chair.
fingers flying across the keyboard, i fill in the blogger draft pages.
anger.
angst.
sadness.
disappointment.
frustration.
confusion.
and then the words are there.
the words that could make or break.
the words that catalouge how much pain i feel.
they make everything seem so much more real.
i sit there, reading the words over
and over
and over again.
then as i read over it all one last time, i realize something.
that it's not really as bad as i make it out to be.
that the words make it seem so much harsher than it really is.
that i'm overreacting.
so i select the text and press the 'delete' button, erasing everything.
erasing all the
anger and the angst.
all the sadness and the disappointment.
all the frustration and the confusion.
and then you know what?
i feel just a little bit better.
then before me, once again, sits a blank slate.
an empty screen.
a chance to forget everything i just wrote and to start over.
i pause, my fingers hovering over the keyboard.
i could start again;
i could make it less harsh and more realistic;
i have a do-over card.
a moment passes.
then another.
and i push back my computer chair,
stand up,
and walk away from the computer.
erase.
delete.
backspace.
undo.
blank slate.
erase your slate and walk away. you'll feel better. i promise.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
my own "magic flying" glass.
Once upon a time, a reallyreally good friend of mine told me a story about this "magic flying" glass. This glass took everything terrible in someone's life and magnified it so large that everything in that someone's life was blown completely out of proportion. This "magic flying" glass then zoomed in and focused in on only the bad things in that someone's life. And until they removed the "magic flying" glass themselves, all that someone would ever do is sit and stare at those zoomed-in, blown-up, bad problems. My "magic flying" glass used to do that - I would sit and look through it for hours, crying because I thought my life was terrible. Because I thought no one could ever understand. Because I thought I had it so much worse than everyone else. My "magic flying" glass used to only focus on these things:
-My mom hasn't called in two weeks. Not because she's busy. She hasn't cared about me or my life for a long time.
-I feel myself growing farther and farther apart from my dad everyday. He has his dogs and I have my friends now. But I miss him terribly. We haven't talked like we used to in months.
-Some of my best friends have been angry with me lately, and all I can do is sit here, because I don't even know what they want from me anymore.
-Several of my friends have let themselves down by giving into addictions to drugs and alcohol. Others of them have let themselves down by making other not-so-great decisions; decisions I myself can barely watch them make.
-Someone I once really cared about didn't treat me the best. Maybe it was due to oblivion, but it still hurt. It hurt even worse when I found out that they, in addition to caring for me, also cared for one of my best friends. That may have been a while ago, but it still hurts.
-Last year, I left behind my hometown and best friends to come to a new place where I knew absolutely no one.
-I spent several weeks, even months, at my new school this year not talking to anyone. Being the wallpaper. Crying because I missed my old place and because I felt like I didn't have one here. I have never felt so alone in my life as I did then.
But then one day, I moved my "magic flying" glass over. Just a bit. Then a little bit farther. I nudged it off even farther and farther, until the words underneath it weren't magnified anymore. Until the problems that had lied under it weren't zoomed-in on anymore. Until I could see clearly again. And then I saw. I saw that:
-My mom may not care enough about me to call, but I have plenty of other people in my life that I know do care - my dad, my step-mom, my sisters, my friends. However, I'm going to visit my mom at my grandma's house late this summer - maybe then, things will change for better.
-Today being Father's Day, I spent the whole day (minus a few phone conversations) with my dad. We still didn't open up to each other like we used to, but it's a start. And in order to fix things, you've got to start somewhere.
-Some friends may be angry with me, but I still love them, and I will still love them no matter what happens. As for now, I'm going to keep moving forward in life - and when they decide they want to talk everything out, I'll be here, waiting.
-Those friends of mine that have addictions also have their own lives. They, and they alone, can live those lives. If that means throwing away their morals, so be it. Drugs and alcohol are personal life choices. Those may be their life choices, but they aren't mine. But even though I don't agree with their choices, I still care about those people, and I'll stick by them as much as I can.
-That person that I really cared for may have wronged me, but they taught me a lot. Because of what happened, I'm stronger. Wiser. More cautious. And now I'm ready to take on whatever may be coming up next.
-I may have left behind a good town and a great set of friends, but here I have a snazzy house that I adore, a slightly more urban town, really good new friends, a pretty good school, and a Walgreens within walking distance. Plus, I still have my great set of friends from my old town, and in a strange way, I feel like I still have my old town as well.
-Being completely alone in those first weeks of school taught me more than anything or anyone else ever had - more than when my mom had cancer. More than when my parents divorced. More than when I moved. More than any of the great people I've met in my life had ever taught me. More than any teachers could ever try to teach me. Being so utterly alone then taught me who cared enough to reach out a hand - who cared enough to be a friend. Being alone taught me who my real NU friends are. It taught me that you'll always have a place - you just have to find it. And maybe sometimes, you need to make your own. But most of all, that experience taught me that everything will be okay - and so far, it has been.
I saw all of that. And I saw that really, my life isn't that bad. My "magic flying" glass had actually been deceiving me. Not only that, but it had been covering up a bunch of really good things. Things like:
-I've got a great "home-base" made up of my dad, Shari, my cat Copper, and my dogs Bonnie and GiGi, all of whom are great listeners and are the best family I've ever had.
-I have amazing friends who've taught me what the word "care" really means.
-It's summer, and I'm relieved to be free from the stress of school.
-I'm really quite super excited for some summer plans that my friends and I are going to put into action, such as going camping, partying, sleepovers, etc.
-I've been introduced to several new people and new things this year, which I fully appreciate and am thankful for.
-I've started writing more - and according to some people, I'm apparantly pretty good. =D
-According to my GPA, I'm actually kind of...smart?
-I'm really excited about taking holga pictures - in fact, I'm really interested in photography in general right now, and I'm eager to try some stuff out this summer.
-I'm actually planning on getting my permit soon.
-I've been blessed to be in a safe household that hasn't been hit by any tornadoes/floods/any other natural disasters.
-I'm usually having a good time. All the time.
It turns out that my "magic flying" glass really isn't all that magic after all. In fact, I think it's broken. It's been helping me feel sorry for myself, when I have no need to be. It's been magnifying my problems, when really, they're quite miniscule in the whole grand scheme of things. It's been focusing in on only the bad, when it has so many good things to zoom in on. It's been focusing on "Jordan has a terrible life", when really, I have a great life.
I have a great life.
And I didn't even realize it, thanks to that no-good "magic flying" glass.
Thanks, Sam Brooks. For helping me move my own "magic flying" glass.
-My mom hasn't called in two weeks. Not because she's busy. She hasn't cared about me or my life for a long time.
-I feel myself growing farther and farther apart from my dad everyday. He has his dogs and I have my friends now. But I miss him terribly. We haven't talked like we used to in months.
-Some of my best friends have been angry with me lately, and all I can do is sit here, because I don't even know what they want from me anymore.
-Several of my friends have let themselves down by giving into addictions to drugs and alcohol. Others of them have let themselves down by making other not-so-great decisions; decisions I myself can barely watch them make.
-Someone I once really cared about didn't treat me the best. Maybe it was due to oblivion, but it still hurt. It hurt even worse when I found out that they, in addition to caring for me, also cared for one of my best friends. That may have been a while ago, but it still hurts.
-Last year, I left behind my hometown and best friends to come to a new place where I knew absolutely no one.
-I spent several weeks, even months, at my new school this year not talking to anyone. Being the wallpaper. Crying because I missed my old place and because I felt like I didn't have one here. I have never felt so alone in my life as I did then.
But then one day, I moved my "magic flying" glass over. Just a bit. Then a little bit farther. I nudged it off even farther and farther, until the words underneath it weren't magnified anymore. Until the problems that had lied under it weren't zoomed-in on anymore. Until I could see clearly again. And then I saw. I saw that:
-My mom may not care enough about me to call, but I have plenty of other people in my life that I know do care - my dad, my step-mom, my sisters, my friends. However, I'm going to visit my mom at my grandma's house late this summer - maybe then, things will change for better.
-Today being Father's Day, I spent the whole day (minus a few phone conversations) with my dad. We still didn't open up to each other like we used to, but it's a start. And in order to fix things, you've got to start somewhere.
-Some friends may be angry with me, but I still love them, and I will still love them no matter what happens. As for now, I'm going to keep moving forward in life - and when they decide they want to talk everything out, I'll be here, waiting.
-Those friends of mine that have addictions also have their own lives. They, and they alone, can live those lives. If that means throwing away their morals, so be it. Drugs and alcohol are personal life choices. Those may be their life choices, but they aren't mine. But even though I don't agree with their choices, I still care about those people, and I'll stick by them as much as I can.
-That person that I really cared for may have wronged me, but they taught me a lot. Because of what happened, I'm stronger. Wiser. More cautious. And now I'm ready to take on whatever may be coming up next.
-I may have left behind a good town and a great set of friends, but here I have a snazzy house that I adore, a slightly more urban town, really good new friends, a pretty good school, and a Walgreens within walking distance. Plus, I still have my great set of friends from my old town, and in a strange way, I feel like I still have my old town as well.
-Being completely alone in those first weeks of school taught me more than anything or anyone else ever had - more than when my mom had cancer. More than when my parents divorced. More than when I moved. More than any of the great people I've met in my life had ever taught me. More than any teachers could ever try to teach me. Being so utterly alone then taught me who cared enough to reach out a hand - who cared enough to be a friend. Being alone taught me who my real NU friends are. It taught me that you'll always have a place - you just have to find it. And maybe sometimes, you need to make your own. But most of all, that experience taught me that everything will be okay - and so far, it has been.
I saw all of that. And I saw that really, my life isn't that bad. My "magic flying" glass had actually been deceiving me. Not only that, but it had been covering up a bunch of really good things. Things like:
-I've got a great "home-base" made up of my dad, Shari, my cat Copper, and my dogs Bonnie and GiGi, all of whom are great listeners and are the best family I've ever had.
-I have amazing friends who've taught me what the word "care" really means.
-It's summer, and I'm relieved to be free from the stress of school.
-I'm really quite super excited for some summer plans that my friends and I are going to put into action, such as going camping, partying, sleepovers, etc.
-I've been introduced to several new people and new things this year, which I fully appreciate and am thankful for.
-I've started writing more - and according to some people, I'm apparantly pretty good. =D
-According to my GPA, I'm actually kind of...smart?
-I'm really excited about taking holga pictures - in fact, I'm really interested in photography in general right now, and I'm eager to try some stuff out this summer.
-I'm actually planning on getting my permit soon.
-I've been blessed to be in a safe household that hasn't been hit by any tornadoes/floods/any other natural disasters.
-I'm usually having a good time. All the time.
It turns out that my "magic flying" glass really isn't all that magic after all. In fact, I think it's broken. It's been helping me feel sorry for myself, when I have no need to be. It's been magnifying my problems, when really, they're quite miniscule in the whole grand scheme of things. It's been focusing in on only the bad, when it has so many good things to zoom in on. It's been focusing on "Jordan has a terrible life", when really, I have a great life.
I have a great life.
And I didn't even realize it, thanks to that no-good "magic flying" glass.
Thanks, Sam Brooks. For helping me move my own "magic flying" glass.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
i was alone,
and you were alone.
and instead of being alone by ourselves,
we were alone together.
we didn't talk,
and we didn't need to.
we barely breathed,
as the air hung around us.
we weren't together with each other,
but we weren't alone by ourselves.
and just for that moment,
that was enough.
it was enough.
and you were alone.
and instead of being alone by ourselves,
we were alone together.
we didn't talk,
and we didn't need to.
we barely breathed,
as the air hung around us.
we weren't together with each other,
but we weren't alone by ourselves.
and just for that moment,
that was enough.
it was enough.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
-----
1) i am alive and well.
2) my family is all alive and well too.
3) my friends are all okay.
4) my town isn't completely underwater.
and
5) everything is going to be alright.
have you counted your blessings today?
2) my family is all alive and well too.
3) my friends are all okay.
4) my town isn't completely underwater.
and
5) everything is going to be alright.
have you counted your blessings today?
Sunday, June 8, 2008
what happened?
you used to bare your soul to me, and i kept it safe. now, you barely talk to me. what happened?
you used to be my hero. i looked up to you more than anyone. but now, you're different. i don't look up to you anymore. what happened?
you used to fight for it; this; us. then you stopped. what happened?
you used to need me, and everytime you called, i would be there for you. then you didn't call me when you were in trouble anymore. then you stopped calling at all. what happened?
you used to care about keeping us together more than anything. best friends forever. slowly, you started contributing to the cracks in our already-crumbling foundation. what happened?
we ended almost the same as we began; but why? what happened?
we were always on the same page. then you started reading faster than me. now you're at the climax of your story, and i'm still at the beginning. what happened?
we used to love. now, all i hear from our lips are words of hate. what happened?
what happened?
things change.
people change.
everything changed.
that's what happened.
you used to be my hero. i looked up to you more than anyone. but now, you're different. i don't look up to you anymore. what happened?
you used to fight for it; this; us. then you stopped. what happened?
you used to need me, and everytime you called, i would be there for you. then you didn't call me when you were in trouble anymore. then you stopped calling at all. what happened?
you used to care about keeping us together more than anything. best friends forever. slowly, you started contributing to the cracks in our already-crumbling foundation. what happened?
we ended almost the same as we began; but why? what happened?
we were always on the same page. then you started reading faster than me. now you're at the climax of your story, and i'm still at the beginning. what happened?
we used to love. now, all i hear from our lips are words of hate. what happened?
what happened?
things change.
people change.
everything changed.
that's what happened.
this summer, i want to...
1) get my permit.
2) take driver's ed.
3) write. writewritewritewritewritewrite.
4) dye my hair.
5) read all the anime books that sam gave me.
6) actually use my deviantART for something.
7) go to the rockford rock quarry for a day.
8) ditto adventureland.
9) ditto lost island.
10) read several books on my "classic-literature" list, including the great gatsby, lord of the flies, catch-22, etc.
11) take decent pictures with my holga camera.
12) do an evil scheme.
13) spend a weekend at cedar bend with the posse.
14) go to at least one followed by ghosts show.
15) study for the ACTs.
16) start on NHD 2009!
17) actually decorate my room.
18) see as many of my friends as humanly possible.
19) survive.
and
20) have fun.
there. that sounds like a good start.
2) take driver's ed.
3) write. writewritewritewritewritewrite.
4) dye my hair.
5) read all the anime books that sam gave me.
6) actually use my deviantART for something.
7) go to the rockford rock quarry for a day.
8) ditto adventureland.
9) ditto lost island.
10) read several books on my "classic-literature" list, including the great gatsby, lord of the flies, catch-22, etc.
11) take decent pictures with my holga camera.
12) do an evil scheme.
13) spend a weekend at cedar bend with the posse.
14) go to at least one followed by ghosts show.
15) study for the ACTs.
16) start on NHD 2009!
17) actually decorate my room.
18) see as many of my friends as humanly possible.
19) survive.
and
20) have fun.
there. that sounds like a good start.
Monday, June 2, 2008
jordan secret #232:
sometimes, i push the people i care about most away from me because i'm scared of getting hurt.
in the end, doing that only hurts worse.
in the end, doing that only hurts worse.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
when it's perfect.
they say that it's something that can't be described
and what matters more isn't it itself but the feeling behind it.
it sends a shiver down your spine that steals your breath and grips your toes.
they say that it's something you just can't describe,
how the earth stops spinning for a moment in time.
everything and everyone else disappears for a while.
and suddenly, you lose all your sense of reality.
when it's perfect.
so i think it will be just as they describe
when the right time and anticipation collide,
and i'm intimate distance from that beautiful smile.
i'll rest my hand behind her head
so i feel that shiver sent from her neck, through my lips, into my spine.
as the earth stops spinning i'll realize.
it's perfect.
-"when it's perfect", christian brown.
and what matters more isn't it itself but the feeling behind it.
it sends a shiver down your spine that steals your breath and grips your toes.
they say that it's something you just can't describe,
how the earth stops spinning for a moment in time.
everything and everyone else disappears for a while.
and suddenly, you lose all your sense of reality.
when it's perfect.
so i think it will be just as they describe
when the right time and anticipation collide,
and i'm intimate distance from that beautiful smile.
i'll rest my hand behind her head
so i feel that shiver sent from her neck, through my lips, into my spine.
as the earth stops spinning i'll realize.
it's perfect.
-"when it's perfect", christian brown.
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