erase.

erase - to remove from memory or existence.

crying, i plop in my computer chair.
fingers flying across the keyboard, i fill in the blogger draft pages.
anger.
angst.
sadness.
disappointment.
frustration.
confusion.

and then the words are there.
the words that could make or break.
the words that catalouge how much pain i feel.
they make everything seem so much more real.

i sit there, reading the words over
and over
and over again.
then as i read over it all one last time, i realize something.
that it's not really as bad as i make it out to be.
that the words make it seem so much harsher than it really is.
that i'm overreacting.

so i select the text and press the 'delete' button, erasing everything.
erasing all the
anger and the angst.
all the sadness and the disappointment.
all the frustration and the confusion.

and then you know what?
i feel just a little bit better.

then before me, once again, sits a blank slate.
an empty screen.
a chance to forget everything i just wrote and to start over.

i pause, my fingers hovering over the keyboard.
i could start again;
i could make it less harsh and more realistic;
i have a do-over card.
a moment passes.
then another.

and i push back my computer chair,
stand up,
and walk away from the computer.

erase.
delete.
backspace.
undo.

blank slate.

erase your slate and walk away. you'll feel better. i promise.