letting go.

"soaring on the wings
of my thoughts, ideas, and dreams
i flew away to find
a place of serenity.
a calm breeze reached me there
put ruffles through my hair
lifted me up so gently
and blew away my cares.
higher and higher, it lifted me so
where it was taking me, i didn't know
now carefree, i have no troubles
sometimes the journey is just in letting go."

letting go is one of the hardest things every person has to face. we all try and hold on to the things surrounding us - as if the harder we cling on to people and things, the better chance they won't leave. but no matter how hard you cling and hold on, it won't matter. everyone has to let go in the end. and i know that letting go isn't always a choice; sure, sometimes you have the power and choice to keep holding on; but sometimes you don't. there comes a time when everyone just has to let go.

i've always been, as my dad puts it, the "twerp." i've always been the little one. here i am, fifteen, and i'm still the little one. the underdog. the twerp. the price one has to pay, i suppose, for being the youngest of the family. and it's not that i don't like being the youngest - i don't mind it. but since i'm the little one, it's harder for my dad to let go. and just let me grow up. i ask to do something with friends and its a "NO!" this and a "NO!" that, and a "i don't think that's safe for you." it's not that i don't understand - i know that he's looking out for me - but he needs to realize too that i'm growing up. i'm not the little kid anymore. that i can be trusted. that he just needs to let me go a little bit. we're starting to make progress with this, though, and it means the world to me that he feels like he can trust me enough to let me out on my own more. i think he's finally learning how to let go.

as somewhat of a wallflower, i see and hear people interact all the time. i watch relationships shatter over little things and be born over big ones. but mostly, i see people have problems letting go of old relationships. friends of mine enter and exit romantic relationships and are then left standing there to wonder..."what now?" some have troubles accepting that its over, and they want more than anything to hold on to what it was. they don't seem to realize that sometimes, you just have to let go. move on. grow up. and learn from it.

sometimes the things you want to let go of aren't people or items, but more like things you can't touch or see. things like your past, or your memories, or your thoughts and dreams. it's hard to let go of those things sometimes - but sometimes it's better that you do. it may feel like a loss to let go of who you were or what you used to dream about; but now stuff is more about who you are now. and what you dream for now. it's all about now instead of then. you're moving on. you're growing up. you're letting go.

you're letting go.