one of those typical blogs that every ex-girlfriend writes expressing their angst.

i just need you to understand:

there isn't/wasn't anyone else.
i still like you.
i still care about you.
but i just can't.

and i haven't quite entirely figured that last part out yet.
and i know that this is the part where everyone inserts the, "well, if you don't know for sure, why'd you do it?"

why.
why.
why.

there always comes the why.

that's the thing. i don't entirely know why.
well, i know why, but i don't.
and it's not because i like someone else or because i don't like you.
it's the exact freakin' opposite.
which really may not make sense to you,
hell, it doesn't even make sense to me sometimes.
but i just need you to understand that. to accept it. to believe it. because it's the truth.

as for the "why",
i still don't know.

*insert a bunch of angst here*

but i'm sorry. really sorry.

sorry that i don't even understand myself.
sorry that i'm being confusing.
sorry that i didn't try harder.
sorry that it didn't work.
sorry that it couldn't work.
...could it?

this is where i start the thinking game again.
thinking about it all over again.
thinking about what everyone tells me.
thinking about what everyone doesn't tell me.
thinking about what i really want.
thinking way too fucking much about it all.

but you know what,
i'm really really really sick of thinking.
and i just want to know that everything's going to be okay.
because it is going to be okay...
right?

and i remember myself, sitting here, typing on this very blog many months ago, asking you, begging you, pleading you, with this same exact question -

right?