today was supposed to be your day.

if things were different, i would have bought you a crystal rose for a present.
because that's what dad used to always call you.
"rose", that is.
and dad would make you breakfast.
it'd be just the three of us.
happy.

if things were different, i would have bought you a cheap hallmark card for a present.
because that's all i could think of to get.
last-minute much?
and we'd go out to eat together.
just the two of us.
not really happy, but okay.

if things were different, i would have given you an awkward hug for a present.
because i would have forgotten the date.
bad daughter.
and we'd have had a short chat at your apartment.
the two of us not in sync anymore.
and not really okay anymore.

but because of the way things are, i gave you a phone call for a present.
because that's all i have left to give.
a pointless conversation.
and we'd talk about absolutely nothing for roughly two minutes.
the two of us just waiting to hang up and go back to our different lives.
not anything anymore.

happy mother's day, mom.