dear you;

i don't think you realize how important you are to me. it breaks my heart that i can't be with you everyday, or even talk to you for that matter. i know that you're at an eventful time in your life, and i respect that; but i've spent too long waiting. i just want to be with you more; to hear you talk; to laugh at your jokes. and if you don't want that, you shouldn't keep pretending like you do. it hurts me to say this, but i'm not happy like this; all i do is keep waiting for those small moments when i'm with you...and when they come, i feel like the happiest person alive. i never want to give that feeling of happiness up. but i'm tired of waiting for these little moments that happen every few weeks, or sometimes every few months. i'm tired of waiting, period. i like you, a lot; there's no other way for me to say it. i know you have a lot of other things in your life that you could be busy worrying and caring about - but just for once, i want to be the person you're worrying about. i want to be the person you care about more than anything else in the world. i want to be the person that you can't stop thinking about, and that you're excited about getting to go see. i want to to be the person you turn to first with your problems and your good news, and the person you call every night just to see how their day went, and the person you'll come and visit just because you miss me. i want to be your best friend, your favorite person, your lover, but maybe high school relationships don't work like that anymore. maybe no relationship does. i know i've made a lot of mistakes about this whole thing, but you've got to cut me some slack - i don't know what i'm doing! this is my first time at trying somthing like this, and i'm doing everything i can think of, but it's not enough. i want to make this work, and i will try my hardest to keep it alive; but i can't do it all my own. i'm sorry that this isn't working out the way it's supposed to.

the only thing i have left to say is this: are you happy?
if you aren't, what are we doing?